Thursday, September 3, 2009

Who's Body is this Anyways?

She is now 17 months, and I am still trying to re-discover my body after having a baby. As you may know, it took us about 5 years and numerous procedures to finally get pregnant naturally. I welcomed each day of change that this pregnancy brought to my body. Many pictures and at least two journals document the journey. I kept up with my weekly yoga practice: two nights of power yoga and one night of pre-natal. I kept that up until my body beckoned for rest around my sixth month and I happily listened to my body. I continued taking pre-natal yoga twice a week up until the day before I delivered. I felt like a champ. My delivery was easy relatively speaking, then came the recovery. We happily welcomed our new daughter into our lives and the daily discoveries that comes along with becoming new parents. Everything was going well with figuring out our new lives, and my body was in its recovery phase.

Patience. I keep telling myself to be patient and listen to my body-the body that I trusted to keep my child safe and bring into this world. This is not the same body that entered into motherhood, instead it is a transformed body that is ready to take on the next challenge. Patience. My yoga practice still consists of power yoga, and I have discovered that I can do poses that I couldn't do before. And some of the poses that I could do previously don't come to me as easily. Getting to the studio to practice has its challenges-mostly the guilt of leaving my daughter to go to an evening class after a full day's work. She is so cool and mellow that she handles my absences easily, but I wonder does she really.

I enjoy the Saturday 6:50AM class for its convenience. Normally, this is a class time that I would never consider, but in order to recover fully from this pregnancy and delivery, it is a wonderful welcome. And, bonus, it doesn't affect my family time!!!

My hips and body image have been the hardest issues to overcome. A beautiful full round pregnant belly is so lovely to look at, but the belly left over is, well, empty. And it looks empty. I don't know why I thought my body's recovery would go quickly, even as I chose to invest my every moment with my child. I nursed her and carried her around in my various wraps-one on one time that would reap the rewards of both bonding with my child and a healthy body. My hips have never been the same, always moving in and out of position, and my daily foot pain caused by extreme weight loads (i.e. carrying a 20 pound baby) makes me feel mortal.

My body is recovering in its own time, empty belly and all. I work with various medical practitioners to assist with my body's aches and pains. I constantly discover my new sizes of clothing and complementary styles for it. I am blessed to have gone through the transformation of motherhood, I just need to listen to you, body, and get reacquainted.

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